I never felt at Home – Below –

I never felt at Home – Below –

And in the Handsome skies

I shall not feel at Home – I know –

I dont like Paradise –

Because it’s Sunday – all the time –

And Recess – never comes –

And Eden’ll be so lonesome

Bright Wednesday Afternoons

If God could make a visit –

Or ever took a Nap –

So not to see us – but they say

Himself – a Telescope

Perennial beholds us –

Myself would run away

From Him – and Holy Ghost – and all –

But there’s the “Judgment Day”!

F(437)

In her personal life, Dickinson was vocal about her love of her Earthly life, openly preferring it over any existence she would have in Heaven. Placing enormous value on her relationships – friendly and familial – and the nature around her, she was content with the life she had created for herself. Often finding her spiritual fulfillment in nature, she referred to it as her own personal paradise on Earth. In her poem “Some keep the Sabbath going to Church –” F236, she speaks of an orchard being her place of worship and equates it to Heaven saying, “So instead of getting to Heaven, at last – / I’m going, all along” (11-12). This displays a feeling of completion without the presence of God in her life.

The speaker of the poem expresses how they don’t feel as though they belong anywhere. In their case, they don’t consider Heaven a paradise because every day is filled with worship. They wish that God would turn away for just a moment to give the world a break. The third stanza spells out how God is ever-present, watching us all like a telescope; the speaker resents this, wanting nothing more than a break from his observance. Under His watchful scrutiny, they feel as though they are not able to live the life they want as they are always preoccupied with doing the things that will be pleasing to God. Throughout the poem, they explain their resentment for His sovereignty, even going as far as to reject His idea of paradise. They prefer a Godless world over the one that has been offered. Following along with this desire to live freely, the final stanza explains their desire to escape Him and His unavoidable judgment. Without judgment, there can be no shame. 

There are two specific instances in the poem that force the reader to pay attention to wording. In the second stanza, the use of “recess” brings to mind a childlike sensibility. It creates a parallel between God and human, and parent and child, the inferior being prohibited from doing as they please. As is often relayed in the Bible, there is a right and wrong way to live life when in pursuit of gaining entrance to Heaven. This is best explained with Matthew 7:13-14 which reads, “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.” With this knowledge, the pressure to be one of the few is exponentially increased. Also, the third stanza use of “nap” gives a human aspect to God to God and strips Him of His power. It explains how the speaker wishes God to be on an Earthly level or at the least offer brief relief from His eternal scrutiny. They no longer wish to be subject to His rule. 

Moving into the final stanza, its air of resignation clashes with the overall tone of the poem. Despite a general distaste for God and all that He is, the speaker cannot bring themselves to deny His power. Like a petulant child, the poem seems to be rebelling against a parent whose authority they can’t escape. While the rest of the poem explains how they wish to gain freedom, the final stanza acknowledges their inability to do so.

Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.

The Life we have is very great.

The Life we have is very great.

The Life that we shall see

Surpasses it, we know, because

It is Infinity.

But when all space has been beheld

And all Dominion shown

The smallest Human Heart’s extent

Reduces it to none.

F(1178)

With this poem, Dickinson writes with a positive, awe-filled tone as she reflects on the existence and splendor of “Infinity” or Heaven. This reverence for life and the life that is to come is evident. However, by the conclusion of the poem the tone shifts to one of inadequacy as the speaker comes to realize they will be unable to fully appreciate all that awaits them in Infinity. 

Unlike the punctuation of most of her poems, with this one in particular Dickinson speaks in complete sentences and enlists the use of periods. By using them in lieu of her signature dash, each statement becomes definite, not to be interpreted or analyzed but accepted at face value. It is stated plainly that our lives are great, and with a statement like this it is easy to offer a rebuttal. Once could mention the many tragedies of the life such as poverty, disease, world hunger, war, etc., but the opening verse dismisses them entirely. Rather than focusing on the inherently negative aspects of life, the poem only acknowledges the potential it has to be great and leaves no room for argument. Despite this decision to remain optimistic, the speaker recognizes that our Earthly lives are not the peak of existence and the afterlife offers an even greater experience.

The source stems from the infinitude of the life that is to come. Something that cannot be measured or contained, it is understandable why the speaker is certain in their belief that it is a guarantee of greater. If Earth – which is within human’s mental capacity to comprehend – is perceived as great, it is unknowable the wonders that will be found in Infinity. However, the limitlessness is a double-edged sword because the inability to grasp Infinity robs humans of their ability to fully appreciate it. Once humans witness the “Dominion,” their limits are exposed as their small hearts are not expansive enough to contain it. The Dominion cannot expand beyond that which beholds it; therefore, it is reduced to none.

The final sentence of the poem harps on the insignificance of humans because rather than Infinity adjusting to the size of the heart, it ceases to exist at all. It rejects partial consumption and refuses to shrink itself for that which cannot accept it in its raw, uninhibited form. This poem shows Dickinson’s recognition that although people can understand the idea of Infinity, they will never be able to understand it profoundly. Too wide to consume, their hearts succumb to the weight of it and diminish it to nothing. This is depicted in the above image as it provides a visual representation of how small and insignificant man is next to an entity as infinite as the galaxies. Yet, in spite of his relative smallness and inability to consume, he tries.

Reading this poem brings to mind another of Dickinson’s works which directly opposes the argument of human’s inability to consume Infinity. In her poem “The Brain – is wider than the Sky –” (F598), the speaker believes that the brain can contain the expanse of the sky with ease and equates the mind to God. Created in His image, this poem suggests that man is the god of the world, superior to all and able to consume and create as he pleases. Within the mind’s ability to create something from nothing and imagine that which it has never witnessed lies a separate, god-like Infinity. The existence of this self-contradiction shines a light on Dickinson’s use of her poetry to explore her inner thoughts. Jed Deppman accurately describes her polarized poems as “thoughtful production of, and reaction to, extreme states of being” (167-168). In both poems, she expresses a belief in man’s ability to reduce Infinity to nothing and she uses them to explore both ends of the thought. Reduction by consumption versus reduction by inadequacy.

Bouson, J.Brooks. Emily Dickinson. Salem Press, 2011.

A little Madness in the Spring

 A little Madness in the Spring

Is wholesome even for the king,

But God be with the Clown –

Who ponders this tremendous scene –

This whole Experiment of Green –

As if it were his own!

F(1356)

Dickinson often used nature as a means of defining the world around her and equated it to a place of worship. Through this poem she rants about the power of nature and its liberation of ownership. It asserts that the unpredictability of “Spring” or nature is a necessary experience for those in power to remind them of their inferior position. Leadership is easy to conflate into ownership.

The speaker of this poem has a tone of pity and belittlement towards those who feel entitled to claim nature as his own. By referring to these individuals as clowns, the speaker reduces them to mere caricatures of actual people, and strips them of intelligence as nature cannot be claimed or tamed and anyone who believes otherwise is ignorant to reality. As the foundation of our world, nature was in existence long before man made his footprint and will continue to thrive long after his probable demise. A self-sustaining entity, nature’s survival is not dependent on outside assistance and the opposite is true for humans whose very livelihood is hinged on the state of their environment. The relationship of man with nature is not one of codependence but this fact is often overlooked considering the superiority of nature is not readily noticeable. And until man is crippled by life without the sustaining hand of nature, they will not realize the level of their dependence.

With clear-cut language, the meaning of this poem is difficult to misinterpret. Considering the length, every word had to be impactful. For instance, springtime is typically associated with beautiful weather, but the author chose to describe it as “madness.” This shows intent to conjure thoughts of the wild, unpredictability of nature. The perfect example of this can be seen in weather predictions; there have been instances when meteorologists have been inaccurate in their forecasts, over or underestimating the severity of storms. In fact, there are still weather patterns they are unable to predict like earthquakes, tsunamis, and the path of tornadoes which are the physical embodiment of the erraticity of nature. Further detail to language is seen in Dickinson’s decision to use “king” over other social standings like “merchant” or “civilian,” which places emphasis on power and influence. This is because of the ease with which those in positions of authority become swept away in mindsets of omnipotence and attempt to extend themselves over that which they do not control.

Furthermore, the form of this poem lends effortlessly to its theme as the inclusion of true rhyme gives a sing-song sensation and makes the poem ominous. It feels as though the speaker is addressing the reader directly and letting them in on a dark secret about the power of nature, warning them to proceed in reverence. Even the attention to capitalization seems like an intentional choice as Dickinson is keen to capitalize “Spring” but not “king” which is a nod to which is the superior force. Also an interesting twist of form, Dickinson chooses to use an exclamation mark to signal the conclusion of the poem rather than her famed dash. Having the option to give the poem an open ending, she takes a hard right and closes with a declarative statement. This not only demonstrates a passion for the subject matter but removes any room for argument or misinterpretation.

Many of the symbols here allude to the previously mentioned instinct to control and conquer. However, the speaker seems to argue against this, saying that madness is “wholesome” – or humbling – for a king to experience. In this instance, the king symbolizes the powerful and prideful men of Earth – the rule makers and shot callers. The chaos serves as a neutralizer to remind them of the natural hierarchy; though they rule the people, they do not rule the land. With this poem, Dickinson demonstrates nature’s ability to remind us who is boss and calls for mercy on those who do not heed the warning.

No Man can compass a Despair –

No Man can compass a Despair –

At round a Goalless Road

No faster than a mile at once

The Traveller proceed –

Unconscious of the Width –

Unconscious that the Sun

Be setting on His progress –

So accurate the one

At estimating Pain –

Whose own – has just begun –

His ignorance – the Angel

That pilot Him along –

F(714)

With this poem, Dickinson dives headfirst into a commentary about the grief process. It is asserted that no one knows how to navigate through the pain, but instead they trek through slowly, dragging themselves out of it. However, in their blind stumbling, they are oblivious to how long it will take them to be liberated from the pain and do not realize that their progress will eventually reach a standstill. Contrary to what would be assumed, the poem finishes in saying that ignorance is bliss as it keeps one from recognizing the scope of the task they are undertaking.

When encountering something as complex and difficult to grasp as grief or “despair,” it is nearly impossible to know the correct way to overcome it. Our mental and emotional capacities can only extend so far until we reach the pinnacle of our understanding at which point, we are left to wander aimlessly for concrete answers. This sentiment is reflected in the first stanza as the speaker emphasizes man’s inability to find their way through despair; without a definite goal, there is no way to be certain of what direction to travel. Due to this lack of guidance, man is left to feel their way through it one mile at a time.

In this piece, Dickinson is very strategic in her placement of dashes at the end of specific lines. Each come at a place that suggests an ignorance to what lies ahead. Each of the dashes are laden with unsaid words, inviting the reader to fill in the gaps for themselves. Much like what man is forced to do, Dickinson wants the reader to feel the same cluelessness as they work to understand the unexplainable. At the close of the first verse there is a dash following despair which demonstrates man’s lack of know-how for navigating through grief; the second dash at the close of the first stanza shows the mystery of what is to come. However, the open-ending that most encompasses the theme of the poem is found at the end of the fifth verse, “Unconscious of the Width –” (5). The placement of the dash plays off the preceding words and reinforces the idea that there is no definable limit to Despair. Unconscious to man, Despair has the power to continue indefinitely, and the use of any other mode of punctuation would not have given the same effect of endlessness.

Dickinson concludes the poem in saying that the beginning of Despair is the easiest part of the process as one is under the illusion that they have an accurate vantage point. During this time – with ignorance as his saving grace – man feels as though he has a grasp on his situation. Such is the case when anyone embarks on a new journey. They go into it with a false confidence and without true knowledge of the path ahead of them. Dickinson’s ultimate message is that it is man’s proud assumption of knowledge that leads the way as he is too ignorant to reality to begin to comprehend its magnitude.

Paradise is that old mansion

Paradise is that old mansion

Many owned before –

Occupied by each an instant

Then reversed the Door –

Bliss is frugal of her Leases

Adam taught her Thrift

Bankrupt once through his excesses –

F(1244)

Although Emily Dickinson was not a devout Christian, she was familiar with the teachings and parables of the Bible, and often alluded to them in her poetry. With this poem, she explores the concept of happiness with the metaphor of “Paradise” found in the Biblical theory of creation in the garden of Eden. Although paradise is typically associated with eternity, the opposite is suggested here with phrases like “each an instant,” and “Bliss is frugal.” In using language like this, Dickinson makes it difficult to view paradise in a positive light.

The poem creates an interesting paradox between the accessibility of paradise. At the start of the poem, it is suggested that many people have experienced paradise, but two lines later it is said that bliss is allocated sparingly. For both statements to be true, the assumption would have to be that bliss is given with limitations on quality over quantity – each gets their own meager share. Under this analysis, the reader is given an accurate representation of happiness. With the unpredictability of life, there can be no guarantee that people will be able to enjoy uninterrupted happiness; there will always be something waiting to bring it to an end, or “reverse the door.” When reading this poem, the phrase “All good things come to an end” comes to mind, and it seems that this was the goal – to remind the reader of the rarity of true happiness and to cherish the brief moments in which it is experienced.

An interesting detail to consider about this poem is its length; there are seven lines in total which is the Biblical number of completion. By ending the poem at this point, it is directly connected to its overall theme that there is an allotted time for each person to “own the mansion.” The fulfillment of that time combined with the completion of this poem work to suggest that there are no second chances. Learned from her first encounter with an “owner,” bliss realized that there exists no one worthy of unlimited access to her resources, and she adjusted herself accordingly. 

This poem says that many are afforded the opportunity to own a piece of paradise before it is swiftly snatched away from them. No longer are they welcome into the mansion – this is an allusion to Adam and Eve being kicked out of the Garden of Eden. It is then asserted that this frugality was learned from the actions of Adam who taught Bliss how to be careful with her resources. In the Bible, the first man and woman are ejected from paradise for their inabilities to adhere to their only restriction: Do not eat of the tree of life. However, once this resource was violated, they were restricted from all which they once had full access to. Because he could not control the temptation to be free of all limitations, Adam was “Bankrupt once through his excesses –” (7). In his greed, he cost himself and all to come after him a chance at true paradise.

In writing this, Dickinson seems to be struggling with her understanding of happiness. Having gone through many periods of sadness and wanting to explore the reaches of the human experience, she used this poem to explain the fleeting nature of happiness. A sensation so marvelous to experience, she was rightfully seeking to explain our inability to make it last for longer than an instant. To make the complex concrete, she turned to Biblical tales to discover the root cause of the issue.

He scanned it – Staggered –

He scanned it – Staggered –

Dropped the Loop

To Past or Period –

Caught helpless at a sense as if

His Mind were going blind –                                                                                          

Groped up, to see if God were there –

Groped backward at Himself

Caressed a Trigger absently

And wandered out of Life –

F(994)        

          Someone who was in a constant internal struggle concerning religion, it is not surprising that Dickinson not only questioned God’s existence but his involvement in our lives. At the start of this poem, the reader is shown a man on the brink of suicide and in search of a reason not to go through with it. In the moment, he feels helpless and unsure of what to do, and opening to the second stanza, he begins his search. He searches not only in God but in himself for a reason to live and when he finds neither, he does the deed. The above image displays a scene of a dejected man as he contemplates whether to live or die. 

           His groping for God demonstrates how religion can serve as both a last-ditch effort and a source of life. In those final moments, the speaker is in desperate need of a force strong enough to tether him to the world. The first place he turns – possibly after having witnessed positive religious experiences – is to God, and despite not finding what he was looking for, his efforts prove a belief or hope in the power of religion to save lives. 

In an interesting manipulation of form, Dickinson uses line length to depict the indecision of the man in the poem. In the first stanza, the lines stagger between short and long which shows the back and forth thinking as he battles over whether to take his life. However, in the second stanza, there is a steady descent as the lines – as well as his list of reasons to live – shorten and he makes a decision. The use of the dash to close the poem portrays the uncertainty of what follows death. Done with his earth-side adventures, he “wandered” out of life and into the next dimension of existence to explore the possibilities there. Similar to a recently released balloon, he was no longer bound to life by his pain, but finally free to explore the possibilities of the unknown. 

           In this poem, much like most others, Dickinson is meticulous in her word choice. The most jarring usage comes in the final lines of the poem with the words “caressed,” “absently,” and “wandered.” Before these lines, the speaker depicts the man as being afraid to follow through and hopeful for a change of heart; this is done with words like “staggered,” “dropped,” and “groped.” At this point, the man is still desperate to be saved and unsure of his thoughts. However, the words in the closing lines of the poem imply that his death was serene, something not toiled over but desired and anticipated. These lines and the language used within them symbolize what death means for someone who has been broken to the point of contemplating suicide. Rather than representing it as a loss of life, it is represented as a gaining of freedom from the hardships of life. Reading this poem brings to mind, “Suspense – is Hostiler than Death – ” F(775) which argues that the unpredictability of life is a greater burden to bear than death which cannot be extended beyond itself; death has a conclusion while suspense is eternal. When thinking of taking their own lives, people are often told to hold on for things to get better, pray, or even find hobbies. The fact that neither God nor himself could offer alleviation from the speaker’s pain makes it clear that for some, dying is easier than finding the will to live.

After great pain, a formal feeling comes –

After great pain, a formal feeling comes –

The Nerves sit ceremonious, like Tombs –

The stiff Heart questions ‘was it He, that bore,’

And ‘Yesterday, or Centuries before’?

The Feet, mechanical, go round –

A Wooden way

Of Ground, or Air, or Ought –

Regardless grown,

A Quartz contentment, like a stone –

This is the Hour of Lead –

Remembered, if outlived,

As Freezing persons, recollect the Snow –

First – Chill – then Stupor – then the letting go –

F(372)
        
           Having experienced a lot of death in her lifetime and having a view of funeral processions from her bedroom window, Dickinson had ample experience dealing with grief. Using her writing as an outlet for her pain, she often wrote about loss and the possibility of life after death. In this poem the speaker walks the reader through the progression of grief. Once the pain subsides, they are left in a numb dissociative state, unsure of who they are and how much time has passed. After enduring the paralyzation and confusion of grief, they walk around on autopilot, not grounded to the Earth or the present moment.

            When people experience great pain, they assume they have endured the worst when in fact they are only passing through the first stage of their grief. When reading this poem, I am reminded of another of Dickinson's pieces, “Pain – has an Element of Blank – ” which follows a similar theme of how easy it is to lose a sense of time and self when dealing with grief. Once the initial shock of the loss has subsides, a numb, lifeless sensation kicks in and they are left questioning everything. Although the process varies from person and situation, it is rarely ever cut and dry. There will be moments when one will feel everything and nothing all at once, but it is up to the person whether they escape with peace or perish in despair. Throughout the poem, the speaker uses words like “tomb,” “stiff,” “mechanical,” “wooden,” and “lead” to depict how weighed down they feel by their own emotions. When one is in the thick of their pain, it is difficult to see beyond it to a time when things are better. With the use of “tomb” – which elicits thoughts of emptiness – the speaker places a picture of a loss of life and essential purpose in the reader’s mind. This is accurately depicted in the above image as it displays a person slowly fading into a diminished version of themselves as they feebly attempt to hold themselves together.

             To further this feeling of emptiness, the word “mechanical” is used to suggest something which is robotic and unfeeling. Incapable of becoming emotionally invested in their surroundings, machines are immune to pain; they are unable to carry out actions that are beyond what they have been programmed to do. People processing grief are reduced to basic human functions of eating, breathing, and sleeping. To explain Dickinson’s process of creating this phenomenon of being alive and not living, Francis Manley says, “Her problem was to describe an essentially paradoxical state of mind in which one is alive but yet numb to life, both a living organism and a frozen form” (262). This paradoxical existence is intriguing as it highlights something which we all recognize without full acknowledgment. When someone experiences a “great pain,” there will come a time when they reach the end of their ability to outwardly express their grief. No longer able to accurately convey the pain they’re feeling, they yield to the belief that there is nothing that can be done to alleviate it. It is at this point that the numbness settles in as they have now given their grief free reign, no longer attempting to suppress it with anger and denial. Hence, they are alive but frozen in their pain.

With the use of staggering dashes, Dickinson recreates the feeling that comes when one is making the decision of whether to succumb to their grief or accept it. The decision isn’t one that comes without doubt, second-guessing, or back-tracking and by incorporating dashes between each stage of the process, the reader is taken into that feeling of indecision. This is further reflected in the final stanza as the speaker seems to be at a cross roads of sink or swim. Throughout the poem, they have avoided language that would suggest that their grief is a thing of the past; it is something they continue to struggle with. This closing quatrain is the summation and climax of their experience as they anticipate the conclusion and ask the lingering question: Will I survive? The tone of the speaker at this point is uncertain, and yet hopeful. They consider the possibilities, comparing their triumph over the pain to one who survives hypothermia or “freezing.” They will recall the initial force of the pain, the subsequent sensation of emptiness, and the “letting go,” which can either be interpreted as death or a point of acceptance. By returning to the dash and thus leaving the meaning open-ended, Dickinson – much like reality – allows the reader to decide how grief ends.

Manley, Francis. “An Explication of Dickinson's ‘After Great Pain.’” Modern Language Notes,
vol. 73, no. 4, 1958, pp. 260–264.